Greif

 

Greeting All.  Yes!  I am back again from another hiatus.  So much has happened since my last post. Cruises, Corona Virus, A New Nephew and the loss of my dad.  

This blog is about my dad.

So, I was surfing Facebook and came across a post that caught my eye.  Funny how it just shows up on my news feed.  My dad passed away on Nov. 30, 2021.  He had just turned 70 just two week before.  Anyway, here is what caught my eye...

Grief

I had my own notion of grief.

I thought it was a sad time

That followed the death of someone you love.

And you had to push through it

To get to the other side.

But I'm learning there is no other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather,

There is absorption,

Adjustment.

Acceptance.

And grief is not something that you complete.

But rather you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish,

And move on,

But an element of yourself-

An alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing,

A new definition of self.

How fitting to read this as I am still trying to grasp the idea that my dad is no longer with us physically.  I saw him on his birthday.  We had to put him in a home where he would have 24 hour supervision due to him having severe Dementia. Anyway, he remembered who I was when I came to visit him on his birthday.  He was still coherent and could talk fine.  But, when it came to walking, he needed assistance.  Moved very slow.  Dementia is horrible.  

Two weeks later, mom got a call about my dad's breathing.  That evening, my mom, sister and brother went up to sit with him as we were told he had less than 24-48 hours.  At first, it was just mom, sis and I while my brother was flying in from Florida.  My dad's breathing was really rough.  It was like he was trying to catch his breath, pull for it.  Making big gasp.  The nurse on duty would come in every hour on the hour to administer morphine to help put him as ease.  My brother finally made it in about 10:30 pm.  We all just sat there watching dad gasp for air.  Finally, my sister told him it was ok to let go.  We all love him and always will.  And with that, at 12:08 A.M. Tuesday, November 30, 2021, he took his last breath.  His color changed within a matter of seconds.  R.I.P. Dad.  You will forever be in my Heart and all the wonderful memories I have.

So with that being told, I am guessing I am in the midst of grieving.  Seems like every other day something comes up and I think about him.  It still doesn't seem real that he is gone.  I'm not sure I will ever get over his passing.  

Until next time...