A Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog
Usually calls him "Rover" or "Boy."
I call mine "Sex." Now, Sex has been
Very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew
His dog license, I told the clerk that I
Would like a license for Sex. He said,
"I'd like to have one too." Then I said,
"You don't understand. I've had Sex
Since I was nine years old." He said,
"You must have been quite a kid!"
When I got married and went on my
Honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a
Room for my wife and me, and a special
Room for Sex. He said, "Every room in
The place is for sex." I said, "You don't
Understand. Sex keeps me awake at
Night." The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest,
But before the competition began, the
Dog ran away. Another contestant
Asked me why I was just looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex in the
Contest. He told me that I should have
Sold tickets. "But you don't understand,"
I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V."
He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went
To court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I
Was married." The judge said, "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was married,
Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent
Hours looking around town for him. A
Cop came over to me and asked, "What
Are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in
The morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up Friday.